Flash Fiction: Vampire for President

For Chuck Wendig’s Flash Fiction Challenge
 “Vampire for President
1,821 words

I ran my knife across the short length of wood slowly. There was no need to rush.

My hands I left to their familiar task while my eyes watched the television flicker. The announcer droned on.

“And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the lovely candidate Candice Rosewin!”

The TV grew loud with applause. Everyone liked Candice. She was a pretty enough young woman I thought. Carefully dress and with the kind of open face that made people trust her. Reminded me of a girlfriend I once had. Nice girl. Great lay.

“And now we will hear from our next presidential candidate–”

I leaned in closer to the TV and licked my dry lips.

“Harold Sangor!”

The applause was not as loud this time. Sangor was not as well liked as Candice. But those who did clap, did so fervently.

The man who began speaking in a quiet voice, so different from Candice’s lively once, looked sickly. He was old, pale and had perpetual bloodshot eyes.

I barely listened to what He had to say. I didn’t care what the unnatural thing claimed to support. By tomorrow morning he would be dead. I glanced at the flyer on the table next to me. It advertised and event featuring both candidates early the next morning. The location was a park near home. It was the perfect opportunity. I grinned at the thought. It would be something, in the hunter community, to boast that I killed a vampire trying to be president.

I planned and prepared my stakes late into the night, snatching a couple hours of sleep before dawn. The next day was heavily overcast as it usually was this time of year. The vampire probably planned around it to avoid the sun’s burning rays. I stowed away the gear I would need in my heavy overcoat. The sunless sky giving me a good excuse to wear it.

A large crowd had already started to form when I arrived even though the event was hours away. The crowd split into two very distinct groups  Once side, obviously for Candice was full of younger people milling around excitedly. Candice’s platform was all about government reform and bringing the focus back to the home, to education.

Sangor’s group was night to Candice’s day. They were mostly older generations, by their clothing they had month to throw around. They were far more subdued than the other group and most looked as if they would rather be anywhere else. Like sleeping the day away.

That there were a few vampires among them as well, I had no doubt. But that would come later. I wanted the big one first. The small fry could wait.

I shuffled my way towards the front of the crowd. I stuck closer to Candice’s group  figuring they were less likely to look at me too closely. many were dressed just as oddly as I way. I passed one couple who looked like they dressed themselves from and 80’s thrift shop.

I drew close to the small stage that had been set up, it was covered in red, white, and blue ribbons, security was already present, preventing anyone from getting too close.

The stage was attached to a small community storage room with a door set in the back of the room. The room wasn’t used that often, mostly used to store supplies for summer BBQ’s and children’s’ plays.

I didn’t worry about them too much. They would be too distracted when the time came. My thoughts drifted to the small bomb I had hidden in a nearby tree two days ago. A glance as I walked by earlier confirmed that it hadn’t been found.

Small town like this, security would be minimal. No extremist presidential assassins in  this podunk town. Just one very good vampire hunter.

Shortly before the event was due to start, several black SUVs drove up to the side road, vomiting several security guards dressed as black as the cars. There were a few more security than I was expecting but no matter, my plan was still sound.

The crowd roared once they spotted Candice and Sangor get out of their cars.

I waited until the two candidates were on the stage before hitting the button hidden in one pocket. A small boom shook the park as a large oak tree exploded.

There was instant panic as the crowd began to run in all directions. Security immediately started ushering the candidates into the small community room at the back of the stage.

Seizing my chance, I stripped off my overcoat revealing a suit exactly like the ones security was wearing, complete with ear piece. In the confusion, not one realized I wasn’t one of them. They didn’t notice when I started darting all of the security with a very strong sleeping potion I bought off a witch. Very handy stuff, could take out an ox and keep him down for several hours.

The few still up did notice when I shut and barred the door behind me though. Muffled shouts and pounding thudded on the door. But the door was solid. Bear’s roamed through the park sometimes and the community didn’t want them getting to their burger buns.

“Hey! Who are you–” called a security man but down he went with a dart to the neck. One more short of my dark gun and the last of the security guys were down, leaving me with the two political candidates.

They both stared at me with shock. Candice’s large hat had been shifted askew so it hung sideways on her head. Sangor’s flabby mouth hung wide open.

“I say who are you!” Said Sangor, coming to his senses first, his face grew red and he took a menacing step towards me.

“I’m the hunter who’s going to kill you! Undead scum!” Cheesy I know, but I couldn’t resist. I pulled a freshly sharped stake from inside my jacket and lept towards the man.

The point of my stake was inches from his heart with a pale, delicate hand gripped my wrist with a surprising amount of strength. Sangor dropped to the ground in a dead faint. I regrettably let out a squeak and tried to pull my hand away to no avail.

“I’ll let you go if you promise not to stab me with that stake of yours.” came a cool voice.

I looked over in shock, first at the small hand holding on to mine with such strength and then up to Candice’s smiling face. “May I let go?” I nodded dumbly. “Excellent.”

I rubbed my wrist where she hand gripped it, there were red mark there now in the perfect shape of her fingers. They would purple into bruises later I was sure.

“Now then, I don’t think we have much time before my security gets through that door.” Now that she mentioned it, the banging had gotten a lot louder, as if they were using something ram the bear-proof door. I had a minute, maybe more before they got in there and found me. My original plan had been to kill the vampire, knock Candice out and escape through a small hatch I knew was on the roof before blending in to the security again on my way out. But that plan was out the window now.

Candice stood straight, hands crossed in front of her and looked over at me with a amused look on my face. “I’m going to assume you’re one of the hunters I was told about and that you thought Harold was a vampire.” I nodded again. She gave a satisfied nod and looked down at Sangor, still passed out on the floor. “Can’t say I can’t see where you got that Idea from. He is a right bloodsucker and he does look the part, but sadly he is very much human. He fairly reeks of humanity. Although that might also be death, I’m still figuring out these new senses.” She gave a little sigh and nudged Sangor with her foots. He gave a little moan but showed no signs of getting up soon.

I shook my head, finally coming to my senses. “You’re a vampire!” I blurted out.

She looked at me, on perfectly sculpted eye brow arched. “Well yes, I thought that was obvious by now. Turned a couple weeks ago, bad night to go slumming for some good Greek food. Food I’ll never have again,” she sighed and leaned her head against one hand before continuing. “My campaign manager thought I should drop out of the race. I told him no of course. I was too close! I wasn’t going to let a little thing like being a vampire stop me from running for president. And before you ask all the blood I drink comes from blood banks, I’m never drunk from a human, nor do I plan to.”

“But you go outside! In the sun!” Just last week she had visited a children’s park for story time.

She gave a little smile. “Large hats and very good moisturizing sunscreen do amazing things.”

I could only stare at her in shock, much to my embarrassment. Never would I have thought she was a vampire. She seemed so… human.

“Now then, I can’t have you killing me, so why don’t I hire you instead? I could use a good bodyguard who could protect me from other hunters.” Her eyes became thoughtful and she tapped one finger against her bright red lips. “Yes, I think that would be an excellent plan.”

“I can’t work for you! I should kill you!” I sputtered trying to regain control of the situation.

“What? And let Harold win? You weren’t planning on voting for him were you?” She peered at me, her eyes intense. I looked away.

“Well no, of course not. Obviously.” I muttered. I shifted my feet and looked around, trying to find a way out of this mess. The room was sadly bare after being unused for most of winter.

“And do you have a plan on how you’re going to get out of here with out the many security men outside tackling you and putting you where you won’t see the sun for many many years? Almost like a vampire yourself?” She laughed at her little joke. Dammit, she was cute.

“Not yet but–”

“Then it’s settled. I’ll tell the men outside you were my undercover bodyguard and you managed to thwart off an assassination attempt by…” She pointed, “Johnson over there. He’s and ass and always staring at my tits.”

Before he could say anything she had moved to the door, unlatched it, and flung it wide open. “Coming?” She called back to me.

“I…guess?” I walked slowly towards the door, Candice was already explaining the fake story she had come up with, using quick tears to great effect while I stood behind her, still in shock. What the hell just happened?


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